Employed!

I am sooo tired, I am about to crash. Anyway, the happy news! I am back in the US and finally employed. All the immigration brouhaha has been dealt with smoothly. Thank God!

My flight landed safely late afternoon yesterday in JFK, and I was out of the apartment early today for my first day of work, jet lagged and all. I probably won't be able to blog again until things get settled. I might have to move before the end of the month. My apartment is in transition-- there are boxes everywhere. Additionally, I have to finish completing all the documents required by the NY Character & Fitness committee for my admission as an attorney. It'll be crazy busy for a while, but I am so glad to have actually rejoined the world of the employed.

New York Bar Exam!

Passed the NY bar! I couldn't believe it when I saw the email! I messed up two essays and my MBE was so-so. I upped my score from 613/665 to the minimum passing of 665 or possibly a smidge higher? (Passers only receive scaled MBE scores, so I have no idea how far away I am, if at all from the 665 minimum passing score.)

Anyhow, now I must prepare my documents for admission.

Oh, by the way, still no word on the new working permit. :-(

Still unemployed!

So it has been three weeks since I've been home. No news. I am still unemployed!

When I got home my sister gave me $100+ cash. She also deposited about $600 in my local bank account. She said the money is my allowance until I get back on my feet. I've spent about $20 for miscellaneous expenses, like renewing my driver's license here. The rest of the time, I am a leech. I have dined out multiple times, watched a movie, bought local snacks/items I have missed and paid a total of ZERO dollars. I am starting to feel bad about it. I mean, I feel good to have been blessed with a wonderful, supportive, understanding family; but for crying out loud, I am an attorney! I can't even pay for anything and I have about $5,000 debt! (That's not counting the money my parents gave me while I was unemployed in the U.S.) Anyway...

I am going to the beach for the weekend. After the weekend, I am going to start hustling for a job. It doesn't matter that I have a job offer which I have already accepted. (I received it the day before I left the U.S.) Until I actually start working, I am not going to stop my job search. I feel useless and fat! I have probably gained 10 lbs the past 3 weeks that I've been home!

I will retire this blog once I am employed (outside of the U.S.) If I would be employed in the U.S., then this blog would officially be back in business. :-)

Royally f*cked!

I just found out that my work visa petition was denied. I have to leave the U.S. immediately. I am leaving this weekend. I have a ton of packing to do.

USCIS screwed up. Apparently, a Law Clerk position is not a specialty occupation. A Law Clerk = a paralegal, a position that does not require at least a Bachelor's degree. I was hired as a Law Clerk since I have not yet passed the bar. I was a previous Law Clerk on an H-1B. Now that a comparable firm has hired me, in a similar capacity, suddenly, my position is not a "specialty occupation." I always knew that USCIS could be arbitrary. But its arbitrariness has not screwed me before. Until now.


I shall be ending this blog as there is no more reason for me to keep it. I will have no adventures nor misadventures in the US, since I will not be in the US. I have to pack up almost 5 years of my life in two days. I do not know what kind of career I would be coming home to since I have been away for long. Going through a job search again will definitely be a pain. But at least once I find a suitable job, I could start immediately and would not require any work authorization in my country.


I am an honorable person and I do not intend to violate any laws. I know immigration is a hot topic right now. But by golly, so this is how it feels like to not have any lawful status. At this very moment, I am an illegal alien. I haven't even been in the US my entire life and still it hurts to suddenly have my life in disarray and to say goodbye forever. I can't even imagine how those people who came here very young go through their lives knowing that they do not have lawful status. I wanted to be a person who can help those people--to fulfill their dreams and the dreams of their families. It totally sucks that I could not even help myself. I am a well-educated, qualified person with integrity, and Uncle Sam shut me out.

Lord, grant me the strength to weather this storm. Bless me with the gift of acceptance and discernment that everything happens for a reason. I know life is going to be okay. Right now though, it is not. I need the strength to overcome and to start again.

To all foreign JDs in the U.S., and to everyone else looking for a job or searching for your place in the world, I wish us all the best of luck. Be strong and carry on!

Updates or lack thereof!

No news on the work visa since the RFE. I am desperately hoping it gets approved soon! Since I can't stop life from happening while waiting to start work, here are some updates:

1. I went to Atlantic city last weekend. I got a good deal on one of the boardwalk hotels. I lost the free voucher that came with the Greyhound ticket. I didn't win anything playing slots. Well, $20 doesn't really get too far. LOL. But I don't go there to gamble. I just like walking on the boardwalk, browsing at the nearby Outlet stores, eating Rita's custard, staring at the ocean waves, and generally whiling the time away from NYC. I had a great time with friends! They went straight to work on Monday morning. I of course got to stay behind until Monday afternoon because I have no work to go to.

2. I lost my old business card in Atlantic city or most probably in the bus back to NYC. I had one tucked into my Ipod case and it fell...somewhere. So if anyone finds it, please don't call or email me. I don't work there anymore!

3. My old boss emailed me yesterday. He asked how I am doing and where I am now. He also asked something about my taxes. For a while, I contemplated if I should just say I am still in NY and leave it at that. But I know better, that when my boss asks "where are you now" he means, what are you up to? Did you move to California?

4. I told my old boss the Los Angeles job didn't pan out. He knows about it since the LA firm contacted him for a reference. Although the LA firm offered me a job, they wanted to place me somewhere else on the east coast and low balled me on salary. No, thank you. Anyway, I told my boss I accepted a job in a NY firm.

5. My old boss emailed again. He wanted to know where I am working now. I emailed back to give him the firm name, but said I have yet to start as I need my new work visa. Didn't hear back from him after that.

6. When I resigned from my old job, my boss only wanted to give me time off. It even slipped that if I resigned, then he would have to do another work petition to hire me back. Perhaps he planned on hiring me back. He even invited me to dinner earlier this year and asked if I missed work. I did not give any indication that I wanted my old job back. May be if I did, I would already be employed by now. It's not that he was a bad boss. I just needed growth. (Since I am being brutally honest here, increased salary and benefits would also have been nice.)

7. I talked to my mom the other day to tell her that my work visa petition had some issues. She asked if I still have money. I mumbled something and said, "yeah, I am okay."

8. Honestly, I don't even know how I am going to pay next month's rent! I did tell my sister that I am nearing bankruptcy and I would need to be bailed out soon. I made her promise not to tell our parents. I already owe them soooo much! My sister said she won't tell, and she'd send me money, I need only ask. I can't make myself ask though.

9. May be I should sell some of my stuff after all. I had my TV and guitar for sale a while back, in case I ended up going home, at least I would have already disposed of my things. But then I received a job offer, so I removed my 'for sale' ad.

10. I've had my cable TV disconnected since June. Although I am not a big TV watcher, I do miss having some white noise sometimes. Besides, I love Jeopardy, and now I don't even get to watch that. I'd miss not having cable even more this Fall, what with all the new shows and Grey's Anatomy. May be I could get an indoor antenna?! Then again, I need to sell the TV to raise some cash for rent. Oh this sucks!

11. Only my immediate family knows that I quit my job and that I've been unemployed for over half a year now. Well, them and two of my closest friends. This means that the rest of my family (aunts, uncles, cousins) and other friends think I am still employed and busy. I have limited any contact with them since they might ask how work is going. I hate lying. I squirm. If I told them I quit, there'd be more questions. I am not ready to explain now or ever. I also feel that some of them (at least my extended family here in the US) will judge me for quitting my job in a tough economy and for not finding a new job immediately. Oh the irony!

Losing it

I've probably lost it, but that would mean I am beyond redemption, so in the interest of staying positive, I'd say I am still in the process. It's quarter to 5 a.m. and I am still up. My friend said it must have been the bubble tea we had after dinner (too much caffeine?) I just ate the leftover Chinese from dinner at a Shanghaianese restaurant in Chinatown earlier (technically, yesterday.) I am eating leftover Chinese at 4:30 in the morning! My circadian rhythm is screwed! I must have gone to the deep end of this unemployment situation. I can't even say with certainty that I am going to start working at the firm that offered me the job. There was an issue with my work visa petition. Sheesh. I know the process, I know how it goes...it could have been a well-crafted petition, heck I drafted my own support letter! But who knows with reviewing officers. I've handled similar cases...one gets approved no problem and the other gets denied. Seriously! I am ranting, yes. But it is freakin' 5a.m. and I am still up! Urgh! Then again, I was really sleepy around 1 a.m., but I was having a Castle marathon. Like everything else I screw up in my life, I have brought this insomnia unto myself.

Oh, for something cheerful...I bought a portable speaker the other day with the credit card reward points I recently redeemed. The speaker streams audio not only from my ipod, but also my laptop via bluetooth. Really cool! It even has a sensor for opening the ipod and CD bays with just a wave of my hand. Oh Panasonic SC-HC55, you're awesome! Too bad I can't mount you on my wall (at least not yet.) I don't want to drill holes on the wall and then have to fix it if I need to pack up and leave because my H-1B petition gets denied! Grr.

Failures, blessings, waiting and uncertainties

I haven't been doing so well keeping a blog. Well, blogS really, since I have about three, two of which I planned to update quite regularly. It's not as if I am too busy with anything, like a job, which I have yet to receive authorization to commence. Anyway, my thoughts are a jumble and so I will present some random things here:

1. A while back, I survived an earthquake and hurricane Irene. Both were quite uneventful really, which I am thankful for.

2. Maine was peaceful and gorgeous. The tour group was hilarious. There was even a bit of a scandal.

3. I decided not to follow-up with my employer about the H-1B petition. They did say they would let me know when they've filed it. I was just being antsy, like most clients are I suppose. But, the employer emailed me last Thursday and said that they've filed it.

4. Normally, time flies. Now that I am waiting 15 days, it can't speed up any faster.

5. I interviewed with a Big Law firm once (in March). It was for a "seniorish" legal support. They knew I was a foreign attorney, and that I intend to be licensed in the U.S. sometime. They were very nice but I choked. I interviewed with about 5 partners. I didn't just choke, I choked massively. I must have looked nice on paper, but the interview was a disaster. I was overwhelmed.

6. I interviewed with a pharma company for an in-house position around May or June. I had to wait for 1.5hours. I really wanted to leave, but the company was in Long Island. I didn't want to reschedule and have to commute again to their office. I bombed that interview. I was in no mindset to speak about my background, nor did I summon enough interest about the company after waiting 1.5 hours. The moment was lost.

7. The pharma company (in #6) called to schedule my interview about 10 minutes to 5p.m. on a Friday afternoon. The interview was for the following Monday. I told the caller I'd call back in a few minutes, just to make sure I could get a car. I had no idea the office was in Long Island. (I didn't recognize the city/town name.) I just applied for the job in Monster. I had jobs I applied to without bothering with a cover letter. I just send my resume. For all I knew the pharma office was close to Albany?! Anyway, I checked Zipcar and got a car. Called back pharma company in less than 5 minutes. No one answered, so I left a voicemail. I took the LIRR and a taxi, instead of a Zipcar. Come interview time, I was asked about my problem getting to their office because I didn't have a car. Seriously? What percentage of NYCers have cars? Of course I planned on getting some beat up, used car if I ended up working in Long Island. But anyway, as I've said, the moment was lost.

8. When I was nearing desperation, I followed-up with a shitlaw firm in Los Angeles, which initially showed strong interest in me, then fell from the face of the earth. (Though a shitlaw firm, the partner had received a "Super Lawyer" award for three years or so.) I sent that firm an email saying that we were in touch before and I wanted to check in with them. I reconveyed my interest and lauded all my "accomplishments." I said I could be the ideal match to the position they sought to fill; all I was requesting was 5 minutes of their time. I scored a telephone interview, but nothing more.

9. I am starting to annoy myself. I know full well the USCIS process for H-1B petitions. Been there, done that. But I just want some assurance that everything would go well. I am hoping they will just approve the petition immediately. My last H-1B was approved in less than 5 days. Can't help but ask my friend (also a foreign atty, who passed the Feb 2010 NY Bar) how long it is currently taking the Vermont Service Center to process H-1Bs. She said she was just like me before, when her firm did her H-1B. She knew the process, but can't help but ask the attorney (colleague) who filed her petition. If I were prone to biting my nails, I'd have very little nails left. (Good thing I've never been a nail biter!)

10. I should put Melissa Lawson's "What If It All Goes Right" on loop on my ipod. Found out about that song from The Today Show early this year. Hoda said the song played over and over during the 2008 Beijing Olympics. Think positive, positive, positive! (I am generally super optimistic about other people's affairs, but not mine.)


11. My mom reminded me to review a contract which she has been waiting on for a few months now. Sheesh, she must think it is useless to have an attorney daughter. It takes me ages to do anything law related for my family.

12. I love Betty White! (And Hot In Cleveland!) I finished her book "If You Ask Me: (And Of Course You Won't)" while I was cramming for the bar exam. My recent/current reads: Freakonomics/ Outliers / poetry (various).

13. Yesterday, I saw BBC's "The Code" parts 1 and 2. (I'll watch part 3 maybe later.) Why couldn't have I just been a math whiz?! I could be in a very different field like engineering and possibly, better employed.

I am ending this random listing at 13-- just like the cicadas' 13-year cycle in Tennessee. Watch BBC's "The Code" pronto!

Excerpt: A Psalm of Life

Tell me not in mournful numbers,
"Life is but an empty dream!"
For the soul is dead that slumbers,
And things are not what they seem.

Life is real! Life is earnest!
And the grave is not its goal;
"Dust thou art, to dust returnest,"
Was not spoken of the soul.

Not enjoyment, and not sorrow,
Is our destined end or way;
But to act, that each to-morrow

Find us further than to-day.

Let us, then, be up and doing,
With a heart for any fate;
Still achieving, still pursuing,
Learn to labour and to wait.

~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Happenings

I still have not started work. I probably won't be able to start until after two weeks. I should probably contact the office today to follow-up on my work visa petition. I hope they don't think I am annoying. They did tell me they would let me know once it's filed; but that was Wednesday last week. Hmmm. It is so hard being on the other side of the fence. I know how annoying clients can get, those who feel the urge to follow-up everyday.  Now, I am sort of a client. I feel the urge to follow-up, but I am mightily trying to fight that urge.

Last weekend, I went to the easternmost tip of New York in Long Island. It was a wonderful day. It didn't rain. I enjoyed the beach, walking around a small town, and going up 100+ steps of the Montauk lighthouse. This coming weekend, I would be going to Maine for three days. So looking forward to another road trip!

While waiting to start work, I have recently signed up for two classes: kickboxing and Spanish. I have started the kickboxing class, but the Spanish lessons, I'd have to take a test to determine which class level I should be in. I have yet to register for the exam. Anyway, the kickboxing class was brutal. Well, perhaps not really, but for me it was. I am unfit and a big blob of laziness. (Although my BMI says I am not obese, I have probably gained 15+ pounds since I've lived in the U.S. I have already gained one dress size, I am afraid to go another size up! ) By the end of my first kickboxing class, I was saying "f*ck, f*ck, f*ck" in my head, while we were doing jumping jacks, cycling, push ups, squats, etc. We were supposed to be counting the reps, but in my head I was saying "f*ck." I am actually doubtful now if I was just thinking it or saying it out loud. Twice, the girl on my left looked at me weird. Geez, may be I did say it out loud! It also did not help that I was paired up with the female Muhammad Ali. My partner was the ONLY girl who showed up in class with her hands already in boxing wrap! Gawd. At least she didn't pummel me with jabs and roundhouse kicks. She was probably feeling sorry for getting a weakling as a partner. (I may not have the strength and endurance right now, but I think my kickboxing form is much better than my classmates'. I took kickboxing lessons many years ago. At first, I had one-on-one lessons, until I finally had two other classmates; so the entire time I was taking kickboxing, we were only three in class. This meant that I received massive amounts of attention on my technique and form. The class I have now is more for fitness than sparring. We just did straight punches, jabs, and roundhouse kicks; but I think I still remember how to do hooks, elbow punches, back punch, knee kicks, straight and side kicks.) I am looking forward to more kickboxing classes! Well, I am looking forward to actually starting work, but in the meantime, I have to keep busy while waiting.

Boooored

I need a vacation. I have very little money. I am bored.

My friend said it was dumb that I was bored in NYC. She said I could just go around Manhattan and explore. Well, true, I could do that, but I want to get away from NYC. Problem is going away costs money. I have nothing budgeted for travel. Heck, I barely have enough budgeted for rent, food, etc. I have even redeemed my credit card rewards for extra money. I was thinking of going to Chicago and Milwaukee. Fly to Chicago, take the train to Milwaukee, and then from Milwaukee, fly back to NYC. If I stayed in hostels, may be I could do that trip for 6 days on about $600? Nah, the fare and hotels may cost $600, but then I also need money for food and going around Chicago and Milwaukee. Too costly.

I could may be Priceline my way to Atlantic City for two nights. I was also considering some other beach area on the Jersey Shore, but being a solo traveler, would there be something else for me to do besides being a beach bum in Long Island Beach, Asbury Park, or Cape May?

Then there's a bus trip to Maine, which cost-wise seems the most promising. It'll be a three-day budget trip, that'll probably cost me $300+.  Hmm, I need fresh air! I need money. I need money for fresh air?

Anyway, I am going to Long Island for a day trip this weekend. Sooo looking forward to the beach!

Is it worth it?

When I went out for errands yesterday, it was nice to feel that once again I belong. Before I found a job, it seemed like I was saying goodbye along the many streets I walk on. There was afterall the possibility that it might have been the last time for me to be in the area since I would have to leave the U.S. if I did not find a job. It is nostalgic, but it is the truth. But since I've accepted a job offer, my emotions have now changed and feelings of being part of New York City are once alive! I am here because I belong here. I am here because I have a purpose here.

But then I received a voicemail from my mom, my dog got out of our house and almost got lost. Our neighbor found the dog and returned her to us. My dog doesn't wear a collar, she has no tag; and even if she did, what if someone else found her and decided to keep her? My dog is one of the friendliest dog ever. She doesn't snarl at anyone, not even kooky strangers. She lets everyone pet her. Once when a cousin and his family were visiting us, I found their small boy poking the eye of my dog, she was not even complaining! I wanted to blast that kid out of our house, but not before illustrating how painful eye poking is, by poking his; then lecture him that he should not be poking anyone's eyes. (Ooops!)

So I couldn't sleep all night and got to thinking...is it worth it? Is it worth being away from my family, friends and pets just so I could work in the U.S. I think that I might always have known that "making it" in the U.S. is a challenge for me. I had been lucky to find two jobs, and now a third job, aren't those enough? Is it not enough to know that I could find a job here and work my way up, if I wanted to? Is giving up so much for a chance to fulfill my dreams worth it? Honestly, I do not know. The guilty feelings of going away and not being with family, have been resurrected now that I have found a job. Before finding a job, I had feelings of not being good enough, but then I was happy that I would be going home to family and friends. My feelings of defeat were assuaged by the fact that I would be going home; my feelings of success are ridden with guilt and aloneness.

If only I could bring them all here to live with me. But then, that would be imposing my dreams on them. Besides, it is hard enough to acquire and maintain lawful immigration status for myself, it'll be maddening to get everyone lawful status forever. Perhaps next year, when all is well, I could get one of my dogs to live with me. It certainly is something to consider and look forward to. When that time comes, I would have to move because my apartment does not allow dogs (cats are ok!) (I was so bothered that my dog may have gotten lost that even before 8.30a.m., I've actually already called the apartment across my building and left a message inquiring if pets are allowed in their building. I do not recall seeing anyone with pets there, but may be the people I've seen coming in and out just don't have pets. I'll try to call the building behind ours to ask about their rates and pet policy. My lease is good until mid-2012, but I can begin dreaming now. I know pet ownership is a lot of responsibility and cost, but it is also a lot of joy!)

Job found!!!

I have accepted an offer! (Nope, not the $36k offer I wrote about in my previous entry.) I had a second interview on Monday in a small Manhattan firm and received an offer. I don't even know if I can call it an interview, since the Partner's mind seemed to have been pretty made up even before I sat in his office. Must have really made a good impression on my first interview with a different member of the firm. Hooray!

Yesterday, I accepted the offer by email. I should have called, but I was thinking the Partner was really busy and looked flustered when I interviewed, I didn't want to risk breaking his concentration with my uncontainable excitement. I was beginning to worry when it was already past 5p.m. and I still hadn't received an email response. Luckily by 6p.m., I received a confirmation email from the Partner. It's true then! I wasn't just imagining things or inventing that I received an offer. (If I don't see it in writing, I become doubtful. LOL.) I somewhat rushed my acceptance email yesterday because the $36k firm emailed me to ask about my decision.

After I emailed my acceptance of the NYC offer, I then emailed $36k firm to let them know that I am declining their offer. The $36k firm asked me if I have already accepted an offer. My curiosity was piqued, would they be countering? I told the $36k firm that I was about to accept another offer. Then, it got weird and slightly in bad taste. $36k firm sent a follow-up email and asked me if I was accepting the other offer because the other firm gave me the salary I proposed. Hmmm, I don't know if it's just me, but I do think it was unprofessional for them to effectively ask me what my salary would be. I told HR of the $36k firm that I am not able to comment on that as such matter is confidential. Why did they even ask?!

Anyway, I am so happy now to not be looking for a job. I suppose it would take a while for me to completely stop visiting job sites because I've been so used to searching various job boards all day for the past 6 months. I started my job search in March and received two job offers in August. I slowed down my search in June and July because of the bar exam.  (I could actually have been employed as early as May, but I don't think that firm would have been a good match for me.)

I am eager to start working next month! Right now, we are still preparing my new H-1B petition. I hope everything goes well.

Job offer?

I think I just received an offer by phone. I can't be sure. How could that be? Well...
 
I  received an email from the firm's HR to call them if I have time today. I did. HR said before the firm sends an offer to me, they want to know if $36k was acceptable to me, plus benefits, and H1B sponsorship. I was stunned, because: 1) I made more in my last job; 2) When they asked for my salary requirement, I didn't say $36k. My head was saying, ask if there is wiggle room on the "non-existent but anticipated offer" but I was too shocked to speak. Then the HR probably sensing my surprise, added that's the highest they can offer. At which point, I regained my speaking abilities, and said, I am grateful for the offer, but I would need time to think about it. I added that I just had a second interview yesterday so I would appreciate some time to process. The HR said to email or call her, when I am ready to accept. LOL. Accept what?! There isn't any offer yet. How weird is that?!

Did I just receive an offer? I suppose it was an invitation to an offer? It's not even an invitation to negotiate, seeing it was non-negotiable. Per my understanding, I was asked, if the firm were to make that kind of offer, would that be acceptable to me. I told HR, I'll call them on Monday.

I think that I didn't even have the moment to feel joy with receiving an offer. I didn't know that was possible, but I suppose it is. Now, do I email HR? This "non-offer" is now an abstract thought in my head. I am only very slightly considering it because of the H1B sponsorship. I would be accepting with the thought of leaving in two years? I am regressing! What I am looking for is a long-term position of growth, not a semi-insulting offer. (I am not a snob. I understand it is hard times. I am thankful for the offer. But I did put a reasonable salary expectation, which was not in the area of $36k. I believe I just got a low ball offer.)

I guess I will just write-off this "non-offer" in my head and move on. If I don't get any other offers, I should not really regret anything. What the "non-offer" would do for me is to buy time in the U.S., nothing more.

Stunned. But grateful.

Done, done (again!)

The NY July 2011 Bar Exam is over! Whew. Not that I spent too much time studying, but still, it was a pretty intense cram time this past week.

Now let's talk job updates.  My oh my, it's been a while since May. I have received a few more rejections (mostly from unsolicited applications I sent out) in the mail since. I have also interviewed a few times. All I can remember now are interviews I did in Long Island, NY, downtown Manhattan, Milwaukee (by phone), Los Angeles (by phone). Last week, I interviewed for a Los Angeles firm at their NJ office and another Los Angeles firm (by phone). Tomorrow, I am interviewing in midtown Manhattan firm. To be honest, I am amazed that there are still trickles of interest coming in. I haven't been diligent sending out applications because after May, I've lost interest, and companies have likewise lost interest in me (generally), presumably because of my long-term unemployment. (The longer I stay unemployed, the harder it is to find a job. Argh!) I am truly thankful for any opportunities that miraculously come my way.

My applications to the LA firms seem to be advancing. One firm is currently checking my references, while I am on 2nd round of interview in the other. I am keeping my fingers crossed!

I want to write some more about how my job search is going, but my brain is mush. I can't seem to articulate my thoughts well. I'll stop here, before I reread this thing tomorrow and tell myself, "wow, you write crap."

Hope lives! Ad maiorem Dei gloriam!

Rejection letter

I received my first rejection letter today from a NY firm. I interviewed with an Associate in late April, who told me that she was conducting the first round of interviews then a second round will be done by the Partner. I never made it to the second. I don't exactly know why, as I believe I had an excellent interview with the Associate. Did I ask for too much money? Was doing an H-1B sponsorship too much? I could only surmise that there were candidates more qualified than me, who asked for less money and who did not require H-1Bs. Nonetheless, I am impressed that the firm actually snail mailed me a rejection letter.

==============================================

From: Respectable boutique firm

To: FJD

Please accept our heartfelt thanks for taking the time to visit our office. Your resume and credentials were outstanding, and meeting you in person confirmed our high expectations of your experience, skill and professionalism.

Unfortunately, we must inform you that the paralegal position has been filled. The large number of highly qualified individuals who responded to our job posting has forced us to pass on several applicants who undoubtedly would have made a strong asset to our office.

While we understand this is (sic) may not be the news you had anticipated, we are highly confident that you will continue to find success as an immigration paralegal, and we wish you all the best in your future endeavors.

Very truly yours,

Partner, Respectable boutique firm

===================================================

To: Partner, Respectable boutique firm

CC: Associate

From: FJD

I received your letter dated May 10, stating that the paralegal position I applied for had been filled. I wanted to thank you for taking the time to let me know about your hiring decision. Your courtesy has earned you major points in my book. Not that it should concern you, but at least know that should any occasion discussing your firm arise, I would highly speak of your hiring etiquette. I also wanted to thank you for having confidence in my continued success as an immigration paralegal. Although I appreciate such a generous well-wishing, I would like to let you know that I intend to be an "esq." soon. I understand that the "esq." does not necessarily mean an increased in salary and greater job prospects for me, but I want you to take note nonetheless. Please, please, do not jinx the exam I am taking in July.

Thank you.

Respectfully,

FJD

Job search

Thank you Respectable Boutique Firm for bothering with a first class mail rejection letter.

I interviewed in some other firms which couldn't be bothered with the same courtesy. How rude! 

Here's a breakdown:

Job search: February 28 - May 11

Interviewed: 7 (NYC 3; DC 1; Boston* 1;  Dallas* 1; CA* 1)

Rejection letter received: 1 (NY)

Never heard from again: 3 (DC, Dallas, NY)

Firms which have yet to make a decision: 2 (Boston, CA)

Job I turned down: 1 (NY)

* by phone

I've sent thank you emails to each of the attorneys who interviewed me. One week after the interview, I also sent follow-up emails to HR or the attorney contact. I heard back once from Dallas HR that the attorneys still hadn't made a decision-- that was in March. They've since reposted the job ad, which clearly means I didn't get the job.

Washington DC

The DC firm isn't really in DC, but in a DC suburb. I can't believe I bothered my cousin to pick me up at the Metro station, drive me to my interview, wait for me for 1.5 hours, treat me and my friend to early dinner, then drive us back to the Metro station, for nothing! I took the Greyhound bus from NYC to DC. The least those suburb attys could do was to email me a rejection letter. How very rude of them not to! I didn't bother calling them after my default follow-up email one week from the interview. To think the senior attorney told me (as he ushered me out of his office), to talk to the managing attorney about my salary. But the managing atty did not make an offer. He discussed the job duties, what his vision was for the position, the health coverage the office has and then said, "I will contact you." Throughout the interview, he cannot understand why I would choose to stay in suburbia after I've passed the NY bar. Well Mr. Managing Atty., I didn't pass the bar. Even if I did, would I have applied to your firm if I wasn't sincere in wanting to work there? I traveled to your suburbia firm on my own dime, and you doubt my desire to get the job?!

California

The CA company (not a law firm) emailed me two days ago that they are still slowly going through all the applicants. The Director also hoped that I am doing well. I didn't reply to his email. May be I don't really want to work there?

Boston

The Boston firm replied to my email inquiry for an update two days ago. They said that the partners are meeting at the end of this week to make a decision. I asked the Boston HR to keep me posted on the hiring decision, whether good or bad.

New York

In NYC, I applied for 3 firms and interviewed with all 3. One already sent me a rejection letter. Another firm I've never head from again (I didn't send my default follow-up email one week after the interview. The position was more administrative than a Law Clerk/Paralegal job.)  The third firm, I rejected. Yea, I know, I don't really have the luxury to reject offers, but I did. Actually no formal offer has been made, but an offer was definitely coming. The hiring partner (HP) would have hired me on the spot but wanted to check with my ex-boss first, before making the offer. The HP would have contacted my ex-boss right there, but I said I would like to inform my ex-boss to anticipate a call from the HP. I told the HP I would contact my ex-boss in the morning and then I would email her my ex-boss' contact details. Well, when I woke up the next morning, I've decided I don't want the HP to even bother contacting my boss, as I knew I would be miserable working for the HP. I withdrew my job application. There was no point in wasting more time contacting my ex-boss, then drafting an offer, which I would just reject. I interviewed with the HP for 3 hours. My stomach was croaking loudly and she still did not end the interview. I knew then that that job would be the death of me. I would write a better account of this interview in a separate entry. This much I know, I should have charged the HP a fee for my services as a stand-in therapist. She just vented all her firm's troubles to me. Didja honestly think I would sign on and share your misery? No, thank you.

So there you have it, 7 interviews, with no real job prospect. Life sucks. Sometimes I wonder, since I am pretty average anyway, why can't I just have mediocre dreams? Why can't I settle for a good enough job that pays the bills? Why do I want a job that I would be really happy with?

Possible interview: Small firm in Southern California

Oh, there's another firm in CA that recently showed initial interest, until they learned that I am still living in NYC. The firm's email to me was, "Your background is impressive. Can you please email us a short, recent work that you prepared by yourself. How soon can you be in CA? We hope you're already here visiting. Do you still have 3 years left on your H-1B?" I responded to the CA firm within 2 hours of receiving their email. The next day, I was on high alert for all incoming emails/calls. But the CA firm did not even send an acknowledgment email. At around 7.30p.m. (Eastern), I called their office to ask if they wanted me to come by for an interview. (My email response to them had a 1.5mb attachment. I was concerned that my sample work went straight to their spam folder, hence I decided to call.) I said I needed to know ASAP since I would have to finalize travel arrangements. The Receptionist/Secretary/Paralegal placed me on hold (probably checked with the partner), then haughtily said, "Not at this time. We're still going through the other applications. We will let you know BY EMAIL if you would be invited for an interview."

Yikes. I thanked her and said goodbye. You see Ms. Receptionist/Secretary/Paralegal, I know you  must be allergic to calls from job applicants, but I wouldn't have called if your firm replied to my email. In my email, I asked when you wanted me to come by. I said I could fly this week and attend an interview on Thursday or Friday. I also said that I am open to an initial phone interview and thereafter an in-person interview. But I never heard a peep from you. You can't just tell an applicant, "how soon can you be in CA" and then leave her hanging! My cover letter was clear about my desire to relocate to somewhere warmer. I was ready to shell out $500+ to cover my trip to CA, because I was serious about getting the job you advertised. Ms. Receptionist/Secretary/Paralegal, it would be best to use a friendlier tone to job applicants like me. One day, a random job applicant might have your job OR might be your boss. 

I need a job SOON! Preferably not in NYC, but I'd take any reasonable job I can get.

The Inside Story

I maintain (try to) a couple of blogs for a couple of my interests (yes, let's be vague, shall we. I hope this vagueness is not a sign of things to come. But moving on.) I simply don't want one blog to represent the whole me, so I split them up-- charity work/cause, travel, sports, TV shows, you get the idea. Lately though, I have been following blogs not necessarily about my interests but more so about my predicament-- unemployed in the legal industry. Some of these blogs I read are: The Poor Paralegal, Things Could Be Worse (Just Give It A While), Legally Fabulous, But I Did Everything Right, Esquire Painting and other various law school scam/young lawyers/legal profession blogs. I enjoy reading these blogs, but cannot 100% relate since I did not obtain my JD in the U.S. So I thought, why not start a "law" blog of my own! I'm sure the guys at LLM Guide would be happy to know the inside story of how a foreign JD is making it (or not making it) in the U.S. Brilliant!

To the LLM Guide folks though, I must warn you that I don't have an LLM. So what's my deal? How could I possibly think that I could make it in the U.S. as a foreign JD, without an LLM? Am I dreaming? (Yes!) Am I crazy? (The jury's still out on this one.) Am I hopeful? (Truly.) But how do I intend to make it as a foreign JD without an LLM? Read on.

I have a U.S. Master's degree. A few years ago, I was awarded an international, one-year, full scholarship to attend a relatively competitive state school in the South.  My program of study was among those the school was most known for. After my year on full scholarship ended, I decided to leave the school (even with a Regent's scholarship for my second year) to finish law school in my home country. Once I've gotten my JD, passed the bar, worked for a bit, I thought, "hey, why not go back to the U.S., see how things would go." So I did.

I finished my M.A. without any student loans. I was on full assistantship on my 2nd year of graduate study. The assistantship covered full tuition and provided me with a meager (but sufficient) stipend. Before my MA graduation, I secured an internship in a small NYC firm. Well, it wasn't really an internship, as I had been offered full-time employment (no benefits). I was on OPT and my boss said H-1B and green card sponsorship were in the cards. Sadly, I left that job after one month (which meant that I quit after two weeks to give a two week notice. Or maybe I just gave my boss one week notice. But anyway...I quit.) I was working 6 days a week and my boss was calling me on Sundays too. It wasn't the job for me. I don't get paid a lot and the job wasn't challenging enough for me. I was oblivious to the recession.

After about two months of job hunting, I found another job in a small law firm. This is where I stayed for over two years. My boss sponsored my H-1B, I wasn't paid a lot (but at least I was getting paid the entry level prevailing wage for a Law Clerk),  and still had no benefits. I am a diligent worker and in no time, I have earned my boss' trust. This meant that my caseload was more than his and I stayed longer in the office. My boss was generally nice but can be bitchy. I suppose I was under a lot of stress, but amazingly still functioned in the office. I felt lousy that over two years I still wasn't given health insurance. There were times I cried in the bathroom because I couldn't work as fast as I could or should to keep up with all the clients' cases. One day my boss said, "this is how it is in all immigration firms, you know." The next day, I quit.

My boss was shocked. (Yea, why don't you Google "when your star employee quits!") I told him I wanted to take the bar. He said why don't you just take some time off. I was planning on applying for your green card next year. Well, well, well, you bosses all know the way to temporary nonimmigrant workers' hearts, don't you? Dangle the possibility of getting a green card! I was very tempted to stay on. But I realized, change is what I desire. If I stayed on, my life would be the same. I might still be unhappy (it also didn't help my mood that I generally dislike NY winters), and I would still want to quit after a while. I also did not adequately feel appreciated. I thought, if my boss really cared and thought I am a great employee, why hasn't he offered me health insurance? I don't ask for much and it would have been nice to know that my boss cared for my well-being. I don't really take sick leaves because I know if I did, my work the next day will double. I was unhappy, I was stressed, I wanted change, I wanted more. So I quit.

Now, here I am, 5 months unemployed, still without health insurance AND without pay. I didn't start my job search until March (after the February bar). I should have passed that bar. But I didn't. I should have studied for two months, but I didn't. May be I was too happy being without work. I slacked off for the better part of those two months. I crammed for two weeks! After the exam, I kept hope alive that I passed, but I wasn't totally surprised that I didn't.

So how do I go from here? I am retaking the NY bar in July. I am still looking for a job. I am thankful that I don't have student loans and my parents are supportive. I have not yet touched the money they gave me and I hope not to spend it. I will just re-take the bar and go home, unless I find a job before my authorized nonimmigrant status is up. I am looking for a job that I will keep for a long, long, long time. A job that I will love going to every morning.

To answer the most asked question among foreign JDs like me, "how to survive in the U.S. with a foreign JD?" I'd say you need a lot of perseverance and a lot of luck. I was not top of my class, I am not a genius, I am not rich. I am average by most standards. I have no network, I didn't get  my previous jobs because I know somebody who knows somebody. (I am not opposed to that, I certainly wish right now that I knew somebody. A lot of somebodies!) Heck, I am not even lucky. But I am determined. Everyday, I try to stay positive and tell myself that "Things will turn around. They always do."

I intend to chronicle how I fare as an unemployed foreign JD in the U.S. I hope that I would inspire average foreign JD Joes and Janes out there to follow their "U.S. esq." dreams. I hope that my luck would turn soon and that I would be showered with good, great, best of luck! Through all this, I have been getting motivation from The Daily Motivator (www.greatday.com). Perhaps it is fitting that today's Daily Motivator says:

Streak of Bad Luck -- ...The fates are not malevolently aligned against you. You’ve just chosen to see it that way. Your streak of bad luck will end at precisely the moment you decide it is over. The only thing that can make the future look bleak is your agonizing over the past, and that can end right now. ...With a renewed sense of purpose, look forward and move forward. Your future is yours to choose. (Read more: http://greatday.com/#ixzz1M4JRWygz)